• you must build the boat yourself
• you can only spend $50, but you are allowed to use any items you find, a.k.a. trash
• you cannot use anything that is specifically designed to float or be a boat
• you have 24 hours to build your boat
• mass consumption of Lone Star is strongly encouraged both during the build and during the race
• the boat must be human powered, no wind sails or motors are allowed

Merri Su and I felt that it was our obligation to observe and document what I will, from now on, refer to as Trash Boat Hipster Regatta 2010.  Moms and Dads, don’t worry, we didn’t build boats or get into the water.  Merri Su is too smart and I didn’t drink enough Lone Star.

Here’s Anthony with his boat, The Misprint Mistress (I actually don’t know what the real name is, to be honest).

Don’t forget to notice the cup holder and the duct tape repair kit inside The Misprint Mistress.  They are key features.

Here is a photo of Allen with his boat, Large Barge.

The tarp canoe was very popular.  However, there was only one phallic surf board.

The U.S.S. Log Jam may have been the most appropriately named vessel.

There were boats made from pinwheels, tubs, and doors.

As we got closer to the start of the race, I helped Anthony launch The Misprint Mistress.

Finally, I can’t believe it took so long, we have our first disaster in the day with The Pinwheel.  Fortunately, she was saved and The Pinwheel actually finished the race intact.

What, you think ahipster can’t make a paper mache boat?  I have proof!  It may require a bit of duct tape, but it’ll float.  Right?

Many boats had coolers, one boat may have taken it too far.

Just don’t try to sit in the cooler chair.  Wait!  I said don’t…

Anthony’s boat actually looked pretty good!  In the foreground, you can see The Paddle-wheel Bike-Boat being launched.

The Paddle-wheel Bike-Boat was a styrofoam platform, reinforced with plywood, that had a wheel-less bike on top that was attached to plywood paddle-wheels.

The boat’s builder had trouble clipping in.

Unfortunately, I don’t think the bike and paddles work well without the floating platform.

So, how are you supposed to ride in a small boat held together with twine?

Wait, don’t answer that question… don’t sit on the boat!  Oh crap…

As the race begins, I can’t help but to notice the random observers in kayaks and on boards that are specifically designed to float who all have life vests on while the hipsters on top of duct taped together trash do not.  I’m starting to think that this regatta may not have been the best idea.

The race was to the dock in the distance and then back to the shore where all the boats were launched.

Surprisingly, most of the boats were sea worthy!

Unfortunately, The Paddle-Wheel Bike Boat was not.

Bananarchy is in the lead followed by a boat made of paper mache and a canoe made of a blue tarp.

And Bananarchy, made almost entirely out of corrugated plastic and duct tape, backs in for the win.

In second place… a boat made out of paper mache?!?

And Garrett’s tarp canoe cruises in for a respectful third place finish.

What happenned to that tiny boat held together with twine?

(Don’t worry, all of the boats that didn’t quite make it were fished out of the water and brought ashore.  We Austinites all love our lakes.)

Go Anthony!
Go Allen!
Why is there a dude in the water back there?  Whose boat sank?

Mike, what do you have in your kayak?  What are you dragging?!?

Oh no!  That was the U.S.S Log Jam!

Anthony cruises to the finish line.

You’re almost there, Allen.

That outrigger doesn’t look heavy enough, I wouldn’t lean to your right.  No, your other right!

I was, fortunately, wrong when I told Allen that the following could only end in tears.

Here’s a photo of the top two boats.  The damage to the paper mache boat was actually done while trying to pull it ashore.

The Liz joined Anthony for a quick float.

Overall, it was a great day.

Really awesome.

Until I got back to my car.  Unfortunately, someone hit my car while we were watching the regatta.  My car was parked at some little league fields.  I asked the parents at the park if they saw who hit my car.  While one of the kids playing baseball said that it was his brother “Drew”, none of the adults saw what happened.  When the police officer showed up, he was too scared to talk to any of the witnesses because “one of them probably has a gun and they’ll just deal with it themselves”.  I’m not happy that the APD is scared of all Hispanic-Americans, especially those that are clearly family loving people that are simply watching their small children practice baseball.  I’m also upset that those same family loving Hispanic-Americans obviously saw who hit my car and decided to pretend that they saw nothing when I asked them.

I’m not sure how bad my car is damaged, but it doesn’t look too bad.  It looks like a simple bumper replacement but who knows what else is bent/broken/fuckedup.  I parked inside the lines and the back end of my car was moved by the collision.  Make your own conclusion.

Saturday, July 18, 3:33pm (near Demorest, GA)
“Yeah, they sell those here.”

Friday, July 19, 5:49pm (Demorest, GA)
“Just finished picking Georgia blueberries with the in-laws.”

Sunday, July 19, 5:50pm (Demorest, GA)
“A woman at the blueberry farm saw a spider and screamed. My father in law’s reaction? ‘That’s why they shouldn’t allow yankees in here.’”

Monday, July 20, 11:01am (Gainesville, GA)
“Lunch? Never heard of it.”

Monday, July 20, 7:30pm (Savannah, GA)
“We’re about to find out how good the nacho cheese soup is. Stay tuned!”

Monday, July 20, 7:59pm (Savannah, GA)
“Nacho soup tastes like a delicious taco. But, the texture is like a taco gone horribly wrong. Overall? delicious.”

Tuesday, July 21, 2:08pm (Savannah, GA)
“Time for a beer and burger at Belford’s (while MS updates facebook).”

Tuesday, July 21, 2:52pm (Savannah, GA)
“About to get back on the trolley tour. Maybe we’ll see another sweet fountain like this one.”

Tuesday, July 21, 5:22pm (Savannah, GA)
“I’m on a train!”

“A train turntable, to be exact. Also, this is the inside of a train(?!)”

Tuesday, July 21, 5:54pm (in response to a Jim, who didn’t like that I was missing our volleyball game)
“If the other team says “bring it”, just show them this!”

Wednesday, July 22, 10:01am (Savannah, GA)
“I don’t remember Tom Hanks sitting on a bench in a museum in Forest Gump, but they told me this is the bench.”

Thursday, July 23, 9:39am (Charleston, SC)
“I think Isabel has a gift coming. (unless MS keeps it!)”

Thursday, July 23, 10:35am (Charleston, SC)
“I think the air conditioning on this horse carriage is broken.”

“And this is wood siding”

Thursday, July 23, 12:06pm (Charleston, SC)
“This house reminds me of the 7 1/2th floor in “Being John Malkovich”, except for skinny people instead of short.”

(You can’t read it well, but the address is “8 1/2″.)

Friday, July 24, 1:42pm (Middle-of-nowhere, GA)
“Waffle House, yummy!”

Since I love lists almost as much as I love B, here’s a list of some of the things we’ve been up to since January 11, in no particular order:

• SXSW (B)
• 2 half-marathons and 2 triathlons (MS)
• Learning better cycling technique, sometimes the hard way (MS)
• Working hard (MS&B)
• Avoiding housework and yardwork as much as possible (MS&B)
• Birthday parties for the very young and the not-so-young (MS&B)
• Daydreaming about vacation plans (MS&B)
• Watching too much Bravo (MS)
• Watching hockey (B) (too much? I suppose it depends on who you ask)
• Dealing with plumbing problems (MS&B)
• Discovering mushrooms = unhappy tummy (MS)
• Movies at the Drafthouse (MS&B)
• Cooking dinner at home (MS&B – how lucky am I to have such a helpful hubs?)
• Mattress shopping (MS&B)
• Cleaning the litter box. Three cats = plentiful poop. (B – again, I’m very lucky)
• Girls weekend in DC (MS, of course)
• Laundry (MS&B – again, lucky me)
• Helping friends move (MS&B)
• Enjoying mostly pleasant and not-too-hot-yet weather (MS&B)
• Forgetting to blog (MS&B)
• Practicing the art of procrastination (MS, but probably also B)
• Avenue Q (MS&B)
• Vacuuming (MS&B – lucky again)
• Watching Itzhak Perlman perform live (MS)
• Looking forward to seeing Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me live (MS&B)
• Shoe shopping (mostly MS, B maybe once)
• Missing our friends and family and not calling enough (MS&B)

So there you have it, just a few of the things we’ve been occupying our time with around here. It seems like we’ve been super-busy (which, if you know us at all, is not unusual), but now the list looks rather meager. Maybe we ought to blog more often; I might remember more of the things we do!

We attended the annual elections today. The nomination process was uneventful and boring. Not a single person questioned or challenged the suggested nominees from the current leadership. If someone did, they would have have been vilified by the vocal minority and likely asked to leave for not properly wording their motion in accordance to Robert’s Rules of Order. OK, maybe that wouldn’t happen, but it wouldn’t have surprised me.

The nomination process did not lead to any voting since no one was willing to challenge the selections of the nomination committee. It was really boring. Instead of paying attention, I made these doodles.

This is Mr. Stephan Van Fatpants of the Connecticut Van Fatpants and his dog, Whiskers Van Fatpants.
This drawing, from Merri Su, is Mrs. Shinyhead No-Body. She is often mistaken for the sun, but that’s just ridiculous.
This is Mr. Allister Catfancy, Esquire. He is the lawyer for Mr. Van Fatpants. Don’t mess with him. You have been warned.
Finally, I give you Fishy “The Fish” Chang. I didn’t want to name him, to be honest, but Merri Su was also bored and demanded a name.

After a year and a half of marriage, I finally got around to changing my name. It wasn’t because I was unsure about changing it, it was because I’m a bit of a procrastinator. Or maybe a lot of one. Anyway, I started the official name-change process just before Christmas. I went to get my new driver’s license just before New Year’s, and it just arrived in the mail today. Yay!

The next time you see me, you should ask to see the photo. My hair is HUGE! I knew it was a bad hair day going in, but it was the only time I could find to make it to the DPS office. At least the texture of the bad hair day is undetectable due to the black hair, but the SIZE of it! Geez! My head is three times as wide as my face due to the gigantic hair!

One good thing about the photo is that while I look a bit older than my last driver’s license photo (I think that one was about 5 or 6 years ago), I look significantly thinner (and it’s not just the size of my hair that does it!). It is a nice reminder of my weight-loss/health-gain accomplishment. It’s especially good now, as I recover from the holiday excess of food and lack of exercise and get back into my healthy habits and routines. Now I’m off to get ready for tomorrow morning’s 10-mile run!

Sometimes you might like to completely forget to post on your blog. If you find yourself in this situation, complete the following steps to expedite your forgetfulness:

1. Forget to pick up your dry cleaning on your way home from work so you have to turn around and leave as soon as you get home to make it to the dry cleaners store before they close.
2. Spend about an hour making dinner and cleaning up the kitchen.
3. Enjoy a nice, tasty dinner with your husband.
4. Unpack your new Wii Fit while your darling husband does the dishes.
5. Begin to set up your new Wii Fit account. Caution: The Wii Fit balance board weighs you. Prepare yourself for a change in the shape of your Mii based on the data the balance board collects. You might not like it. You might make faces. Ignore your puffy new Mii as best you can and continue with step 6.
6. Play lots of balance games and an aerobics game or two on the Wii Fit. Lose to your husband.
7. Fall asleep on the couch while your husband plays Tetris with Wii Fit the balance board.

Turnip Greens
Ingredients:

• 6 bunches of turnip greens
• one box of vegetable broth
• 3(ish) Tbsp of extra virgin olive oil
• one onion, diced
• 6(ish) cloves of garlic, minced
• 3(ish) handfuls of various dried mushrooms (whatever’s available should work)
• 1(ish) Tbsp ground cumin
• 1(ish) Tbsp garlic powder
• 1/2(ish) Tbsp onion powder or dried minced onion
• salt and pepper to taste

Stem, rip up, and wash turnip greens.

Saute the diced onion and minced garlic in olive oil. Add turnip greens in handfuls to fill the stock pot. Add vegetable broth when it starts to look to dry in the pot.

As the greens cook down, add more handfuls until all are in the pot. Add mushrooms and seasonings and stir to make sure everything is submerged.

Bring to a boil, reduce heat and simmer, covered, for about 4 or 5 hours. Serve hot.

Slow-Cooker Black-Eyed Peas
Ingredients:

• 2 pounds of dried black-eyed peas
• 3(ish) Tbsp extra virgin olive oil
• one box of vegetable broth
• 3(ish) handfuls of dried mushrooms (use same as in the greens)
• one onion, diced
• 6(ish) cloves of garlic, minced
• one 28-oz can of diced roasted tomatoes
• 2 bay leaves
• 1(ish) Tbsp ground cumin
• salt and pepper to taste

Soak peas according to package directions (I used the quick-soak method). Add all ingredients into large oval slow cooker, cover, and cook on low for 8 hours. Serve hot.

Cornbread
Prepare cornbread according to Alton Brown’s “Cornbread No Chaser” recipe in I’m Just Here for More Food. (This one is a very traditional Southern cornbread.) And/or the “Crunchy Munchy Corn and Millet Bread” recipe in the January ’09 issue of Eating Well magazine. (This a yeast bread and more chewy and bread-y than Alton’s. It also takes 2 days to make.) Serve both with butter. Yum!

You might want to prepare another main dish, like chili, for folks who aren’t into black-eyed peas and turnip greens (who perhaps you might be married to).

Possum-Breath Chili (modified)
An R. Wilson Original
Ingredients:

• 1 pound of ground turkey breast
• 10 cloves of garlic, minced
• 1 can no salt added tomato sauce
• 6 Tbsp chili powder
• 1 Tbsp cayenne pepper
• 3 Tbsp tabasco sauce
• 1 Tbsp dried oregano
• 1 Tbsp ground cumin
• 2 bay leaves
• 1 oz grated bitter chocolate
• 1 1/2 to 2 tsp salt (to taste)
• 1 can of diced roasted tomatoes + water sufficient to equal 1 quart
• 1 Tbsp cocktail bitters
• 1 c. brewed decaf coffee
• 1/2 c. masa cornmeal
• crushed pepper and garlic powder to taste

Brown meat and drain. Dump everything but cornmeal into a large Dutch oven or crock pot. Heat just to boil. Immediately cut heat, cover, and simmer for 6-8 hours. Begin tasting at 4 hours and add whatever needs adding. Stir in cornmeal. Simmer uncovered for an additional 30 minutes, stirring on occasion. Serve hot. Can be made ahead (preferable if you’re making all of the above as well) and reheated on the day of serving.

If you try any of these at home, let us know how you like them!

P.S. Everything went over very well with our dinner guests, and several took leftovers home to enjoy later.